November 12, 2012


When you travel by airplane, there are many kinds of landings: smooth, rough, lucky, terrible...People are usually glad to be on the ground again and often clap after a successful one (or maybe it was after a terrible flight that has finally come to an end and they clap in relief).

Landing means (1) you have arrived safely - even if the flight was rough and (2) you are in a different place than when you left (hopefully).   Landings are a big deal.  No matter what the flight was like, one thing is certain:  your new destination holds something new for you and your mind begins to fill with the expectations of this new place and what it holds.

Travels to new places...or new seasons of life...can carry different kinds of "landings" with them.  There are exciting landings which set you into a vacation, into love, into a new job, a new opportunity, a new role, culture, language, way of life...or landings into grief and loss, crisis and challenge.  Landings always seem to hold something new and least from the place you left when you got on.

I am experiencing a rough "landing" right now.  Actually, I physically "landed" two months ago, but for some reason my emotions & spirit can't seem to catch up with my physical body.  There is an internal struggle in different arenas and a seeming inability to settle in again in spite of much experience in this place.  My role has changed, my team is changing, my body is changing, my family is changing, even my marriage is changing.  I feel like there is a stranger who has invaded my person (not to get freaky or anything).  I don't recognize certain reactions or emotions or desires - No! these are impostors!  This isn't the real me!

Then who is the real me?  I ask myself this all the time right now.  It's driving me quite mad.  I prefer the landings where people clap.  Where people are getting off to happy things like tropical vacations or family adventures.  I didn't ask to land into change or loss or certain areas of grief!  On the other hand,  I bought the ticket.  I got on the plane.  I chose this life.  And I've landed.

I do want to settle in - in body, mind, soul and spirit.  Please unite them into one again, Lord.  Help me to "land my heart" again each day - day after day after day - until it makes sense, until I release, until I learn & mature...and until I begin to clap.

photo by:  Magic_Man

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