I´ve been thinking about THE COST. Counting it. Weighing it.
Because right now it´s very personal.
There has always been a cost to bringing the gospel to resistant places - both historically and now through the current-day persecuted Church. Those living for Christ in difficult places have known suffering and have had to count the cost many times a day.
I haven´t had to live like that.
Our call has involved sacrifices on many different levels. Family, personal, health, emotional, security, social, educational, etc. But when was the last time I actually feared for my life? Feared for one of my kids? (there was that summer Jenna was in Kashmir...) My travelling husband?
And when was the last time I made a choice that actually put us in the line of fire for THE CAUSE?
It´s not that our work has not taken us to some of these resistant places. And it´s not that we haven´t worked closely with some who have to live under these life-fearing situations. But for various reasons (and for some I cannot put in print here) we are making a choice to go there. And so, I am asking myself, "Am I willing to lose my husband for the cause of the gospel? Am I willing to raise my children alone? Would I be willing to give my life and leave my children motherless? Or what will I do if one of my children make that choice?"
One of my heroes, Jim Elliot, wrote what are now some very famous words: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." We know how his story finished...or rather, how it began.
My story is still being written.
But I would never want it´s end to be The End. I want it to be just The Beginning. The beginning of something far greater...the beginning of something eternal...the beginning of something remarkable for the King who has loved me so.
Choosing the line of fire for the One who is worthy? You bet.